The Path

There are some things we're lucky enough to get to do. And, I'm not sure we'll ever really believe those things happened.

I've been able to do a lot of those things. From meeting and marrying my husband, traveling to England to visit his family, to following my dream and writing.

Not everything is what we expect. And, success isn't measured how we expect it to be when we're in college. Sometimes that's a very hard thing to get through -- in fact I'm not sure I ever will. I constantly struggle with my personal success. I don't consider myself successful, not yet, and that can be a hindrance on my actual path and down the spiral goes. Sometimes when I think of that downward spiral, I try to imagine it's down the rabbit hole, off to a strange world I don't understand and didn't expect, but it's full of interesting characters and lessons and I'll eventually find my way out.

And, when I do, I'll be all the better for it. One day, I'll be published. It doesn't have to be big, I don't need to make a ton of money. My goad is to be published and to spend my life writing. I've been working on sending things to literary magazines, I've been writing a lot more poetry and I'm even working on an opportunity to do freelance copy writing. There are so many options and chances out there and I am willing to try them all. Of course I wanted to my big novel to be represented and published by a big house -- it's not even that naive of me, most writers write with a dream like that. If you're not dreaming, what are you doing?

This article sample I've been working on all week has been a bit of an eye opener. It's taking me a long time to write 500 words. 1. I have to do all the research, both on the company and the topic 2. I'm creating the theme and tone 3. It's not really creative and it's not quite business. It's somewhere in between and it's pretty exhausting! I'm not used to this kind of writing and it's taking a bit of a toll.
Even if it doesn't amount to anything (but in part of radical self love I won't say it probably won't), I am so proud of myself for trying. 100% of the opportunities you don't take are missed. There's no such thing as getting ahead or making progress or being successful and proud, without working for it.

To be honest, I came to write a post and show pictures of my trip to Wizarding World of Harry Potter last November! It just sort of got away from me after the first two paragraphs. And despite my reminiscing, these words poured out of me and they're more important.

In a time of the internet and lots of wonderful ladies (and men) going out there and starting their own career, businesses, blogs, youtube channels, online shops, and so many other things. We're just beginning to scratch the surface. Most of us didn't go to college expecting this to be the path we take (I sure as hell didn't, with two degrees and neither involving how to make it without a desk job), and college sure didn't teach me how to use the internet to better the life I chose.

I don't want to lose myself in anxiety, worry, perfectionism, self doubt or lack of confidence. All of these things have slowly taken over for the past 3 to 4 years. All I've got is now and I'm working my butt off to write. I write what I love and I love what I write.

What are things we can do to keep us strong?

That's a tough one to answer, we are all wired differently and find encouragement, inspiration, motivation and optimism in different ways.

What I've been doing:
-Meditating! It's not an easy one to start, then again, what is?! I have a meditation book and the calm.com app (which is also a site), and I've heard good things about the headspace app, too.
-Pampering. I haven't bought myself nice lotion, perfume, bubble bath or makeup in years. I decided to finally start buying some again. Slowly. I've started with Burt's Bees lotion and body wash. Yum! What a good way to feel confident and inspired!
-Reading!! My favorite thing. Not only fiction and young adult which I love, but also some non-fiction. Soon I will be purchasing Rain: A Natural and Cultural History, You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) by Felicia Day, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling, and Life with a Sprinkle of Glitter by Louise Pentland.
-Hobbies are important to keep your mind and body active in other ways. I am going to get back into cross stitching (just got a beautiful new cross stitch book - Secret Garden Embroidery by What Delilah Did) going on nature and beach walks and collecting things. Walking around the zoo is also a hobby of mine!
-I am very much looking forward to starting yoga. I am nervous, of course, as a complete beginner and feeling like there is no where I can go to feel comfortable. But a friend of mine invited me to go with her, assuring me it's very laid back. I'm willing to drive half an hour to give it a shot!

To all of us! Kicking butt!

Love,
Ash