Writing is working and working is discipline...

It's not been easy getting back into writing habits after a long break. Not only was I on a fantastic trip for ten days and I have to have the discipline to create and keep to a writing schedule, it's also the smaller version of a break down I get once in a while due to my difficult path.

The path being a writing career.

It's difficult to feel like what I'm doing is the right thing, that I'm good at it and it will all pay off, when there are no signs of it going anywhere or any kind of encouragement. I did write an advertised article that I got paid for and was on the Detroit News and Detroit Free Press -- which was awesome! I didn't get a byline and it wasn't the kind of thing I wanted to get paid to write and I'm not sure I even consider it published, but I DID get paid and it was the highest ranked article they ran in the series. But that kind of encouragement only lasts so long. The company currently doesn't need anything written and therefore, no writers. 

My new beats headphones, a bright, fun pink, has gotten me into music while working in a way I haven't been into in a long time and it's fantastic! Helps from outside distractions as well.

I post pretty pictures of things that inspire and motivate me in order to double the inspiration and motivation. Sometimes it works! I've at least been editing more and I'm nearly done with my novella! Not sure what I'll do with it though... probably self publish it as a kindle once I submit and get rejected by Kindle Singles. 

Sometimes a change of scenery helps. There's a fantastic new coffee shop that opened in my town. It's big, open, a lot of tables to choose from and a lot of natural light. Not to mention some great cups of coffee! Here is a dirty chai. It's a chai with two shots of espresso and it's my new favorite drink, especially for autumn. The scenery and fancy drink helped me get a lot of editing done!

 A few things I read that help me feel inspired in certain ways. Bella Grace is a beautiful magazine (if you can call it that, it's more like a book) filled with people's narratives, essays, quotes and even writing prompts to enjoy life, be in the moment, notice the small things, that life is beautiful and full of magic. I submitted a piece to them, thinking it was not only a perjfect thing for me to read (I have three issues now) but that it's so me that it would be perfect for me to write for, too. Well, they didn't publish my piece.

It's hard to take rejection, especially from something you like, admire and feel inspired by so much. I'll keep reading it, keep being inspired by it, and I'll keep submitting to it as well.

There's also Womankind, also my third volume. It's different than Bella Grace. It can be a bit too feminist for me, but there are also some great articles about all sorts. This is an autumn/Halloween issue full of bats and caves and haunted castles! Totally inspiring.

I'm reading The Martian, which has had a LOT of hype, and so far I'm enjoying it. It's not inspriing in the way that I can take it to my own writing, but it's nice to read something not YA or complete fantasy sprinkled with angst romance. I've been having a seriousl problem reading 75% of a novel and then putting it down and starting a new book! I really need to finish my books. I have so many to read. So I'll finish this then I'll go back and finish all my mostly down novels. All whilst editing my own stories and starting new ones and maybe I can still get published in some way this year.

This is my year! It has to be.

The Path

There are some things we're lucky enough to get to do. And, I'm not sure we'll ever really believe those things happened.

I've been able to do a lot of those things. From meeting and marrying my husband, traveling to England to visit his family, to following my dream and writing.

Not everything is what we expect. And, success isn't measured how we expect it to be when we're in college. Sometimes that's a very hard thing to get through -- in fact I'm not sure I ever will. I constantly struggle with my personal success. I don't consider myself successful, not yet, and that can be a hindrance on my actual path and down the spiral goes. Sometimes when I think of that downward spiral, I try to imagine it's down the rabbit hole, off to a strange world I don't understand and didn't expect, but it's full of interesting characters and lessons and I'll eventually find my way out.

And, when I do, I'll be all the better for it. One day, I'll be published. It doesn't have to be big, I don't need to make a ton of money. My goad is to be published and to spend my life writing. I've been working on sending things to literary magazines, I've been writing a lot more poetry and I'm even working on an opportunity to do freelance copy writing. There are so many options and chances out there and I am willing to try them all. Of course I wanted to my big novel to be represented and published by a big house -- it's not even that naive of me, most writers write with a dream like that. If you're not dreaming, what are you doing?

This article sample I've been working on all week has been a bit of an eye opener. It's taking me a long time to write 500 words. 1. I have to do all the research, both on the company and the topic 2. I'm creating the theme and tone 3. It's not really creative and it's not quite business. It's somewhere in between and it's pretty exhausting! I'm not used to this kind of writing and it's taking a bit of a toll.
Even if it doesn't amount to anything (but in part of radical self love I won't say it probably won't), I am so proud of myself for trying. 100% of the opportunities you don't take are missed. There's no such thing as getting ahead or making progress or being successful and proud, without working for it.

To be honest, I came to write a post and show pictures of my trip to Wizarding World of Harry Potter last November! It just sort of got away from me after the first two paragraphs. And despite my reminiscing, these words poured out of me and they're more important.

In a time of the internet and lots of wonderful ladies (and men) going out there and starting their own career, businesses, blogs, youtube channels, online shops, and so many other things. We're just beginning to scratch the surface. Most of us didn't go to college expecting this to be the path we take (I sure as hell didn't, with two degrees and neither involving how to make it without a desk job), and college sure didn't teach me how to use the internet to better the life I chose.

I don't want to lose myself in anxiety, worry, perfectionism, self doubt or lack of confidence. All of these things have slowly taken over for the past 3 to 4 years. All I've got is now and I'm working my butt off to write. I write what I love and I love what I write.

What are things we can do to keep us strong?

That's a tough one to answer, we are all wired differently and find encouragement, inspiration, motivation and optimism in different ways.

What I've been doing:
-Meditating! It's not an easy one to start, then again, what is?! I have a meditation book and the calm.com app (which is also a site), and I've heard good things about the headspace app, too.
-Pampering. I haven't bought myself nice lotion, perfume, bubble bath or makeup in years. I decided to finally start buying some again. Slowly. I've started with Burt's Bees lotion and body wash. Yum! What a good way to feel confident and inspired!
-Reading!! My favorite thing. Not only fiction and young adult which I love, but also some non-fiction. Soon I will be purchasing Rain: A Natural and Cultural History, You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) by Felicia Day, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling, and Life with a Sprinkle of Glitter by Louise Pentland.
-Hobbies are important to keep your mind and body active in other ways. I am going to get back into cross stitching (just got a beautiful new cross stitch book - Secret Garden Embroidery by What Delilah Did) going on nature and beach walks and collecting things. Walking around the zoo is also a hobby of mine!
-I am very much looking forward to starting yoga. I am nervous, of course, as a complete beginner and feeling like there is no where I can go to feel comfortable. But a friend of mine invited me to go with her, assuring me it's very laid back. I'm willing to drive half an hour to give it a shot!

To all of us! Kicking butt!

Love,
Ash

Exquisite Corpse Coffee Shop

Recently revisited a coffee shop in Port Huron. There was a bad experience there a while back and we didn't go back until now. We had a really nice time. Good coffee, beautiful plants to inspire, and admire.

A few shots from the visit!

Breve! Huge breve...

I love the bowl of cactus and succulents.

It was a really pretty and peaceful place to work. The coffee, though massive, was really delicious. We got to spread out on the one large table next to a big window with lots of natural light and a lot of plants. We worked and talked for over an hour. It was really nice and I look forward to returning.